Meet Fly Mamíta
The year 2020 completely transformed me. Much like every area of our lives (like work, our social lives, transportation, the ability to hear a cough in public without fear of catching a deadly disease…just to name of few) everything changed in what seemed like a blink of eye (or more accurately, the spray of a sneeze).
The pandemic itself wasn’t the worst of it, at least for me. My mom at 57 years too young passed away last January from a specter battle with Lupus that overtook her in 5 short months. This loss destroyed me and still to this day is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to go through. My mom and I were tight— our love of style and life bonded us from the very beginning and losing her felt like losing one of my lungs. “Tell me how I’m ‘sposed to breathe with no air?” That song hit different after she passed.
Then in March, like millions of artists, I lost my job and way of life. After performing 2/3s of our scheduled tour for “A Bronx Tale,” I came home to my amazing husband, Nick, and our tiny NYC apartment. And I mean tiny. We had decided purposely the year before to get the smaller place— a cozy, fake 1-bedroom/actually a studio because I would be on tour and he would be in the space alone. Now, there were two of us navigating the space 24/7, dodging each other’s limbs and power chords, excusing our way into every crevice of free space available.
Thankfully, we made it work—shout out to patience and couples therapy— but it’s an experience that fundamentally changed us. A former extrovert (me) became a full-grown hermit homie. I once preferred dancing on (any) elevated surfaces and a night out with friends but now?
A. It wasn’t even a safe option (cuz COVID) and
B. I wasn’t that girl anymore
Though I’d like to over-simplify and blame it all on the dumpster fire of flaming poop of 2020, if I’m honest, this change had been slowly brewing all along. My struggles with my mental health (shout out to Anxiety and Depression: the real MVPs) often left (and still leave) me too exhausted to interact with other people.
What once fed me now drained me beyond belief; but I didn’t want to be a downer, so I “sucked it up and kept going” (Mami’s favorite phrase). Putting up that facade, though, takes A LOT of work, especially when you’re grieving to your core like I was am.
Retreating and hiding in my PSU blue sherpa half-zip and Glossier MegaGreens and/or Moon Mask was something I have did a lot all year… and constantly fought guilt over. But for reasons like needing to protect my limited energy and allowing myself the space to heal from the brutal beating I bore, it was necessary.
Thankfully, social distancing requirements and shutdowns offered the PERFECT, socially acceptable excuse to stay in my cozy little Bushwick cave. :)
Now, after hibernating for the better part of the year, I’m ready to see the sunshine. I’m ready to wipe my tears, spit out the blood, wrap my wounds, and honor my scars, because they’re artifacts how badass I’ve already been.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not at a place where I see a lot of what’s happened this year as a blessing… yet. But I do see how everything falls apart to make way for something new, something amazing, something necessary, something different to arise from its ashes.
In the late summer, I started “ThirtyonePlayingSeventeen,” which allowed me to connect with women all around the world through Instagram from sharing fashion and beauty that made me feel young and fierce. (And I was 31 playing a 17 years old on tour last year, so the name kind of made itself).
Now, it’s 2021, and I’m not 31 anymore. I’m 32 (woo!) and I feel like that one year has like 20 packed into it. I’m not the same young woman. I’m a stronger, wiser, more present, and empathetic human being.
I’m not playing seventeen anymore. And I like that.
My personal style and beauty routines have changed too. I’m now more conscious of brands I support, opting for quality over fast-fashion quantities. Don’t get me wrong - I LOVE brands like Express or J Crew, but I purchase consciously and buy what is useful and brings me joy, rather than something that sits in my closet.
I’m striving to bring fashion in my life that speaks to who I want to be but also very much am. Like my favorite cashmere full length olive duster card,i it’s a blend of luxury and value, beautiful, and straight up comfiness, because who isn’t wearing ANYTHING their not 100% comfy in during these hard times? (If that’s you, kindly take of those heels and put on some slippers. Take a load off— you deserve it).
My skincare game has totally changed as well. Simpler, cleaner products and routines that leave my skin feeling moisturized and bright, while caring for my dark circles and puffy eyes are all I’m looking for. Gone are the days where 20 million serums and moisturizers in the AM and PM were the rule of law. I now look to KISS my 30s skincare woes good bye (Keep It Simple, Sis).
With a new attitude and outlook on life comes a natural rebranding, a “Stella Got Her Groove Back”, “I’m coming out,” Candy Ferocity slaying Stephanie Mills kind of moment. And so for me this is her: Fly Mamíta
What’s a Fly Mamíta?
She is the beauty of the fierce feminine.
She’s a command to take the leap of faith.
She is the best version of yourself.
She’s conscious, present, and balanced.
She’s far from perfect but finds the joy in her journey.
She uplifts and supports other women so they too can FLY.
My family is Dominican, with both my parents immigrating to New York before they were teenagers. Spanish was my first language. “Mamta” is an endearing way to refer to a young woman. If you’re Latinx, I can probably guarantee your abuela called you this at some point in your life.
“Fly” is both an adjective and a verb. “Fly” as an adjective describes someone who is fresh, fabulous, and fierce. As a verb, “fly” is a command to take the leap of faith and actively take the steps to live the life of your dreams.
Fly Mamíta embodies who I am right now and who I want to be. Fly Mamta is my “becoming” - where I share all of the things I’m learning and unlearning about fashion, beauty, and LIFE— that are helping me level up and become the best version of myself.
My hope is that this can in turn help you become the flyest mamíta you can be.
ThirtyonePlayingSeventeen is now officially: Fly Mamíta.
What to expect? Expect more fashion and beauty finds that are fabulous, affordable, and bring me joy. Expect more of the sales, deals, and steals you already love.
Expect more me and more of what lights me up every day. Expect bright, bold, beautiful honesty.
As I travel on my own journey to find my own personal flyness, I’m sharing the things that help elevate me and level up my life. In turn, I hope I can inspire you to live a life that takes flight.
Interested in flying with me? Subscribe to Fly Mamíta today and each week you won’t miss a beat.
Till next time beauties.
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